14 years.
I was a high school senior in a San Francisco suberb in the fall of 1995. At 17, I was the epitome of teenage hope. I was hyper to a fault. Reckless with enthusiasm, obnoxious with positivity. I was invulnerable. I was innocent. I was alive.
October 19th stands clearly in my mind as the day I lost that innocence. A siren, a helipcopter, a phone call. I would never be the same.
Today marks the last in a trio of somber anniversaries that I reflect on each year.
In September of 2007 I stood in The Fillmore Auditorium with my best friend and heard Brandi Carlile sing a then new song, for the first time. A typically unemotional person, I was shocked when the tears came so freely to my eyes. It was the tune of the pain, I had felt for so long…. it let me know that someone else held it too.
It still does.
she sang this song when i saw her here a few weeks (months?) ago. totally heartbreaking. loves to you.
That’s hits really close to home, doesn’t it.